I say this to the world.
FUCK YOU!
I just walked for the first time since i left the Orlando area and it was only a 20 minute walk. I hurt and I ache in my back and my legs and my knees. I don't want to hurt, I don't want to ache, I DON'T WANT PAIN to be involved in this fucking life change. I don't care if that is how shit gets done, I don't like it. Fuck you, fuck you and you over there, just in case you thought I forgot you.. Fuck you too.
I don't want tough love, I don't want encouragement, I just want the pain to stop.I want to feel better. That is the biggest downer to this whole thing, that you have to feel worse than you are to feel better. What kind of fucked up shit is that? Who wrote these rules anyway. Yeah? Well fuck you too.
I am upset and angry and you will just either have to deal with it in here or you can go away.
I hate this, I hate everything about this, I have to do this or I will die. That's the long and short of it. Fucking addictions to foods and sweets. Fucking just HATE damn near everything right now. Breathing and circulation, you get a pass but everything else you are on my Grinch card.
I still don't even have a clear idea of what I want. Just not to die. Death is kinda final and a one time thing, don't need that quite yet. Pain is draining away, now I am tired. Fucking hell.