http://runkeeper.com/user/xianoth/activity/148111194?&tripIdBase36=2g6jbu
Completed night 2 of my walking. I will have to give myself a day or recovery and do some other form of exercise tonight. I have rubbed my feet raw on my new walking sneakers. Have to let the callouses build up again. The walks are pretty good, the cold northern air is refreshing to me, unlike the humid air from Florida. Unless a nice breeze kept the air moving, it was real hard to breathe the moist air of the south and feel like you were getting ahead of your breath. I am sure it doesn't help that when you are overweight, it is that much more of a task, so I will give it a try again when I am at a lesser weight and see how it goes.
My mind is doing some strange rearranging lately. I am getting lots of feelings and emotions that do not seem to be tied into anything. On top of which, situations where I usually have an emotional response to, I feel lost because there is nothing. Granted, the nothing situations are usually instances where I feel like I screwed up in some way or form. It is a bizarre feeling to not have that emotional crutch for support and then start to realize that the crutch may have actually been a shackle all these years. All my inner demons are also getting a light shined on them one at a time. Some are easier to deal with than others, however the fact that they are now visible and apparent is a good sign that dealing with them may be hard but they are now actively there in my sight to start to deal with them.
I have yet to fall back into the walking hypnosis where I can just feel comfortable walking and let my mind wander. My body is not suited for walking like that yet. It is something that I do miss from my youth. Walking was always a sort of an inner adventure as much as an external one. I recall at time where I would start walking and be mindless to the outside world and then look up and realize that I was only a couple of streets from my destination. What is normally a 45 minute walk, seemed to me to be only 10 minutes. There has been a lot of disconnect in my life. Slowly, and one at a time for now, I will reconnect with things that meant something for me. It will be a long journey, as it was to get to where I am now. I am hopeful, even if some days I feel lost.
Life is not perfect, why should your body be? This is the journey of a man set out to change his life. Not to any ideal of perfection that the world seems to be stuck on but to his own satisfaction.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
First walk in a long time
http://runkeeper.com/user/xianoth/activity/147858845?&tripIdBase36=2g14m5
It has been a month into the New Year, I have been working on getting a few things in order the last few weeks. Having actual Medical and Dental insurance, appointments have been made and kept. One of the main things that has been done was I addressed the depression issue with my new Doctor. The end result of that conversation was a prescription for Fluoxetine (Prozac). Today was my 30th day on the script and I am happy to announce that there have been some significant mental changes. The one thing that has been going on lately was an over abundance of discontent of anything that I used to enjoy. Games I played online hold little interest, internet browsing has been lack luster. I have been sitting here on days off trying to find something to do that will grab me, to no avail.
Today on the way home, I had a Forrest Gump moment. I decided that I was going to go for a walk. Unlike Forrest, I do not have the stamina to go from my house to the county line or anything. I did manage a walk to the end of the road and back to the house, which was a little over a mile. The cold air helped me maintain throughout the walk. As with before when I started walking for the first time, my lower back was tight and painful by the time I got home. The last few weeks, my left knee has been giving me all sorts of pain issues, after the walk today, my knee feels great.
Overall, I think I may continue some walks at night for the time being. I know I should get more sunlight, however, I feel that if I can get moving after I get out of work, I am more apt to do a complete walk session. Also, I need to maintain and up keep an new level of exercise. I feel that my discontent was a subconscious need to get out and start doing some exercise. We shall see how tomorrow goes.
It has been a month into the New Year, I have been working on getting a few things in order the last few weeks. Having actual Medical and Dental insurance, appointments have been made and kept. One of the main things that has been done was I addressed the depression issue with my new Doctor. The end result of that conversation was a prescription for Fluoxetine (Prozac). Today was my 30th day on the script and I am happy to announce that there have been some significant mental changes. The one thing that has been going on lately was an over abundance of discontent of anything that I used to enjoy. Games I played online hold little interest, internet browsing has been lack luster. I have been sitting here on days off trying to find something to do that will grab me, to no avail.
Today on the way home, I had a Forrest Gump moment. I decided that I was going to go for a walk. Unlike Forrest, I do not have the stamina to go from my house to the county line or anything. I did manage a walk to the end of the road and back to the house, which was a little over a mile. The cold air helped me maintain throughout the walk. As with before when I started walking for the first time, my lower back was tight and painful by the time I got home. The last few weeks, my left knee has been giving me all sorts of pain issues, after the walk today, my knee feels great.
Overall, I think I may continue some walks at night for the time being. I know I should get more sunlight, however, I feel that if I can get moving after I get out of work, I am more apt to do a complete walk session. Also, I need to maintain and up keep an new level of exercise. I feel that my discontent was a subconscious need to get out and start doing some exercise. We shall see how tomorrow goes.
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