Reaffirmation and other things

Having settled back in the Northern climate, I have immediately caught a nasal infection, joy of joys. This is only compounded to the fact that I use a CPAP machine at night to assist me with breathing due to severe sleep apnea.My CPAP mask is nasal only and due to my sinuses being blocked up, I was not getting any good sleep at all last night. I tried a few things that worked for 'maybe' an hour or so and then I couldn't breathe again.  I got to thinking about why I decided to work on losing weight and get more healthy.


One of the biggest reasons is to be able to finally get off the CPAP machine. It is nice to be able to breathe while sleeping however it is a huge pain in the ass in the long run. It limits my freedoms as to what I can do. If I go somewhere and have to spend the night, I gotta make sure I know that well in advance so I can bring my breathing technology or I will either not sleep well, snore excessively loud and disturb others, or both. That's just if I am heading to someplace that has power. Camping is an all out nightmare unless there is some form of power outlet I can snag with a long extension cord. Freeing myself from the CPAP would be, for me, a big milestone in my journey down the weight scale. It would mean that I can have flights of fancy and take unexpected turns in the roads of my life without having to worry about how I am going to be able to sleep at night.

Saturday I spent cleaning my room and organizing my clothing since the move to Pennsylvania. A week or so ago, I was running around in a frenzy looking for pants that I could wear to a job interview that did not have any holes torn into them that would also fit. I almost did not make the interview on time because I was unable to locate any. Luckily, I found a old pair over khaki pants that were extremely big on me that I could wear. So as I was going through my wardrobe, I located 4 or 5 pairs of pants that would fit me currently and were mostly unworn and hole free. I also found about 4 pants that were a couple of sizes down from my current that I folded up and put aside for when I do lose weight. Currently, I am a size 60 waist, which is depressing to admit but you have to start a point somewhere so I won't dwell on it. The next pants size down I have are 58 inches, which is my soft goal for knowing that I am actually losing the weight.

Some may wonder, why am I not giving actual weight reports. Why am I using pant sizes as weight points of references. Well I will tell you why. The scale that I have currently will register a weight of up to 400 pounds, of which I currently exceed but an unknown amount. Yes, I would love to get a 500 pound scale so I could weigh myself weekly and give proper gain/loss reports, however I lack the funding for such things and at the time I bought the 400 pound scale, it was all I could afford.  The economy here, if you are reading my blog from outside of the United States, currently is tanked at the moment. Though there are good signs that the economy is returning in strength, it is not quite there yet to where I feel it.  I have always been open to donations in the past if there was any interest in doing so. I have a few ways people can help out if they so choose. One is by clicking on the ads here on the blog, they give me a good pay-per-click amount. That is the easiest and non-committal way to help out. The other two ways are a paypal link and a bitcoin wallet address. Paypal, everyone should know by now how that works. Bitcoin is relatively new, and is kind of a geek way of paying for things. Bitcoins are virtual currency, at this writing 1 bitcoin equals approximately $11.89 on the current market. You can find out more about bitcoins through Google, I only started offering bitcoins as an  option since I am playing around with them at the moment. Until such time as I can get a new scale in some way, manner, or form I will be making do with what I have, this means that my next goal is to lose enough weight as to register on my current scale.

I have a dream, whether or not that dream is realized will be the question, regardless of my achievable goals. My dream is that once I have lost the weight that I am trying to and have my strength and stamina back up, is to try and do a run on the TV show The Amazing Race.  I really like that show and the idea of racing around the world against other couples to see how far you can go. I don't care if I win a million dollars, I just want to beat 1 leg of the race and go on. If I can first jump through all the hoops to qualify for being on the race and get on there, that will be awesome in itself. However I want to challenge myself to successfully run a single leg. If I can,  I have achieved what I set out to do. I could lose the next leg and not feel badly about it. Well not too badly anyway, I know I have a competitive streak in me and that will be tough to put down but I will try. :) This would top out my goals and truly show myself all that I have accomplished. Who knows, maybe one day you will see me on TV running my ass off trying to figure out the clues I have been given. That would be fun as hell, no matter how badly it will look come broadcast time.

Once I get this cold gone and I can breathe again, my exercising will continue. I am on day 17 of the Primal Diet. I started 100% primal once I got home on August 30th. The anger and aggression flashes have gone or are greatly diminished. My constant hunger has just about disappeared, but I am not sure if that is due to the diet or the cold. I know when I get sick, hunger is the last thing I ever feel until I start getting better. Hopefully that means my body is now processing fat vs. carbs for fuel and that the addiction withdrawals are gone for the time being. My intake of carbs to date are almost nil and my protein intake has been increased. I just need to up my fruits and vegetable intake a bit more to balance out the diet.  All in all, things seem to be going well.

On a side note, I have self published an E-Book on Amazon that is mostly adult themed, just as a forewarning to younger readers. It is a compilation of stories I have written over the past ten years that range from the macabre to fetish fantasy.  If you are interested, the book is available on all Kindle devices and any device that can read Kindle books. The title of the book is called: Vagabond Dreams and can be found here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009B1JL0E
Any support for this book would be greatly appreciated, please forward the link around as well.

Well, that's all for today, hopefully I will be back to walking and bitching till it doesn't hurt anymore. :)